The Eulogy
by Tanguay18
Summary: This is someone giving a eulogy at a funeral. That's all I want to say, you must read to find out who is involved.


**The Eulogy**

Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own CSI…it has yet to spontaneously belong to me.

"No one ever really knew Gil Grissom. He was a very private man who was often accused of being emotionless. The truth was, he did have emotions, he was a very sensitive man. He just had a way of hiding those feelings and appearing stoic. If you really watched him, very closely, you could tell when something hurt him, but you had to know to see just the slightest facial expressions.

A long time ago he built walls around himself and refused to let anyone in. Those of us nearest him tried to find a crack in the foundation, but usually to no avail. The problem was usually when someone started to get close, they were quickly pushed away and often got hurt in the process. A lot of his closest friends just had to stop trying to get in. A few special people, such as myself, would not give up. We wanted to know what was behind those walls. Our natural curiosity had gotten the best of us," The speaker paused and took a big breath scanning the people before them.

"One of those special people is Sara Sidle. She was always a lot like Grissom, she had the same tough exterior and had a hard time knowing how to handle people. I saw Grissom fall for her when she came to Las Vegas. He was afraid though, because she was a lot younger than himself. He was afraid he could never be for her what she needed and so he pushed her away. Everyone generally thinks that Grissom was oblivious to how he had pushed Sara away and that he didn't realize that she had loved him, but he knew all too well. He lost a lot of sleep over how he had treated her and how she found out that he could never try a relationship with her. In his hear, he believed that he could never be good enough for her. Of course, he never let these feelings on to anyone else, but I can tell you he was never more bittersweet than the day Sara fell for Nick Stokes. He was incredibly happy for her, Nicky could provide a much happier life for her than he could, but he also felt that she was finally out of his reach. He just wanted you to know, he always loved you, Sara," the speaker spotted a teary-eyed Sara.

The beautiful brunette forced a weak small in acknowledgement of the statement. Nick's arm was wrapped protectively around Sara, his own eyes full of tears.

"Greg Sanders was also one of those people. Grissom may have been hard on Greg at times, but it was because he believed Greg could become a very talented CSI. He only pushed Greg to help him better himself. He saw great potential in Greg," the speaker looked at a very pale, silent young man in the crowd.

Greg was still in shock. His mind was still numb and he couldn't process what had happened. He sat, slumped in the chair next to Sara.

"Everyone always thought that Warrick Brown was Grissom's favorite CSI. That assumption was not so far from the truth. Grissom never played favorites, but he chose all of CSIs because they were very talented people. He believed that Warrick was a bright, young man who might some day take over his own position as supervisor," the speaker smiled at Warrick and then continued, "Grissom never told anyone this, but he always sort of envied Nick Stokes. Nicky was always everything that Grissom could never be: an openly kind and caring soul who is not afraid to let you know he is feeling. That was not to say that Grissom wasn't kind, but Grissom could never be as friendly with people as Nicky is."

The speaker steadied their voice to conclude their speech, "Now those of you who didn't know Grissom are probably wondering how I know all of this if Grissom was as private as I say he was. I had recently managed to find a small opening in his wall. I slipped in and forced the hole open wide enough to let myself all the way inside. I got to see the Gil Grissom that was hidden from the world. What I found was a quiet, highly sensitive and intelligent man. Grissom let me stay inside and we fell in love. I found out so much about him that he could never tell anyone else. We were going to be married this spring, but our plans were cut short by a drunk driver."

The speaker could no longer continue, overcome by her emotions. A police officer stood to escort her back to seat next to the CSIs. They all stood up to hug Catherine and she took her seat next to Nick and her daughter, Lindsey. Sara reached over to grab Catherine's hand and comfort her. Catherine forced a brief, sad smile to show her appreciation. Lindsey sat quietly next to her mother, unsure of what to say or do. She had loved Grissom too, she was ready for him to become her new father. Her real father had been taken away from her and now the one man she knew could replace him had been killed. She knew that her mother was happy with Grissom and if Catherine was happy, Lindsey was too.

The rest of the service was a blur. A few more people spoke about Grissom, but none had known him as intimately as Catherine. Her speech had been by far the most touching as most of the crowd had broken down during her brief time at the podium. Everyone's heart had broken for Catherine.

Several of the LVPD uniformed officers had been present at the funeral. They hosted the reception afterwards at someone's house with a large yard. A few of them had actually had contact with Grissom, but most of them were just showing their respects to a comrade, even if he wasn't a police officer, he was still part of law enforcement. All of Grissom's CSI family was gathered around Catherine in a corner.

"Cath," Sara started, "I just wanted to say thank you. I felt so much better after you spoke. I never really got to understand Grissom and sometimes it was really hard on me. The truth is I always loved him too, but when I realized that he wasn't going to ever take a chance with me, I moved on."

"Grissom was really happy for you when you found Nicky," Catherine hugged her, "I thought that I should tell you all how he felt because he could never do so himself."

"I think it served as good closure for us all," Warrick said.

"I definitely felt better," Nick agreed.

"I felt worse," Greg sighed, "I mean we're _never_ going to see him again."

Everyone fell silent at Greg's words. Of course none of them felt good about it, but knowing what Grissom thought of them was comforting in a way. It was a shame that they only found after he died. Catherine pulled Greg into her arms, tears in her eyes. They were all going to miss Grissom dearly and nothing could ever really make them feel better about the way he had been killed. For the time being, their best comfort was found in each other.

Eventually Nick, Sara, Greg and Warrick all had to leave. They needed to go home and sleep because they all still had to work. Jim Brass and Doc Robbins both made brief appearances at the reception to share their condolences with Catherine. Lindsey had gone off somewhere and fallen asleep. Catherine wanted to sleep herself, so she woke her daughter up and thanked the uniformed officers for their kindness.

That night it finally Catherine just how alone she really was. The past several days she had been in shock. Now that it was starting to wear off, she felt like a part of herself was missing. Twice now in her life she had given her heart to someone only to have it broken. Of course it wasn't Grissom's fault that he was driving down the wrong road at the wrong time. He had been on his way back from a case. So at least he had died on the job, the only thing he had loved before Catherine. Catherine fell into a restless, dreamless sleep.

A/N: I don't know where this came from, but it came to me the other day and I decided to go with it because it was different from my other stories (don't know if that's good or bad). I know I have a tendency to focus on Grissom and/or Sara and I think it's because they are the characters that I can most relate to. I don't know, but I hope you liked the story.


End file.
